Process Note #4

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from whence do I come, and how, and whither?
I come from the sea.

stretching tall and wide
I could touch both
the ground below
and
the sky above

rolling with the waves
held in the embrace of undertow
one day I was released onto your shore
tumbled onto coarse sand

thick of limb
soft of heart
I wander heavily through your world
leaving my deep imprint wherever I pass

I come from the sea
like your tears
of sorrow
of joy
I welcome them all
falling from your beautiful face

for they are the part of you
that is the same in me.

I came from the sea
for you.

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For Orlando

This was originally posted to the CUUPS Patheos blog, Nature’s Path, on June 14th, 2016.

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You for whom the house of love
Has become the house of death–
I Who am the Goddess
of love and death
open My arms to embrace you

(Excerpt from “Inanna’s Prayer”, The Pagan Book of Living and Dying, Starhawk & M. Macha NightMare)

I had many thoughts about what I would offer up to you this month, especially with the solstice arriving soon (summer for us in the northern hemisphere, winter for our siblings in the south). All of that disappeared when I woke up Sunday morning to news of the massacre in Orlando.

I’ve been trying to piece together why this was so deeply devastating to me, personally. Given the number of gun deaths, mass shootings, rapes and other assaults, not to mention my own country’s bloody history of genocide when it comes to minority populations, why was it this particular story that opened the floodgates of sorrow and left me barely functional all day long?

Lives are supposed to matter. We live up to that as UUs, and as Pagans, by making sure that the ways in which our human systems prevent certain lives from mattering — systems of racism, sexism, ableism — are called to account and made to change by our efforts. Not only was Pulse a haven for queer lives to celebrate themselves in their whole selves, a place where they could find the connection between their bodies, hearts, and minds through dance, but it was also a place to find a communities. And within that community, on this particular night, Pulse was celebrating Latinx drag queens and queer Latinx sexuality.

Pulse was one of the few places that our queer siblings could fight back against all the cultural messages that bodies are sinful, and that queer bodies in particular are not just sinful but destructive. The Goddess was there, in that place, every night, helping them unlearn hateful messages about themselves and instead learn to love all of who they are from head to toe — including not just their queer space, but also the colour of their skins. It is as if they were shot down in a sacred temple while in the midst of prayer — the prayer of dance.

This was not just an attack on the queer community, but also the Latinx community. Out of fear and anxiety, many are also now turning the backlash into an attack on the Muslim community, fueling the Islamophobia that has the US culture in an iron grip. I have written before to you of how our Pagan lens of interconnected to each other and to the Earth calls us to reach out to our neighbor as ourselves, to hear them when they cry out in pain and suffering. We are needed now, more than ever.

So I am asking you, today, to bring yourself to vigilance. Every time you hear someone denigrate Islam, speak up to love. When you hear someone say the queers deserved it, speak up to love. When it is said that it’s irrelevant that a majority of those slain were Latinx, speak up to love.

May it be so. Blessed be.

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The Light of the Moon

This was originally posted on the Patheos blog Nature’s Path, May 11th, 2016.

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One of the many blessings I’ve experienced during my internship at First UU Nashville is participating in our CUUPS chapter events, especially our monthly full moon ritual and drum circle. Shared ministry is deeply embedded into the culture in this congregation, and it manifests in creative and transformative ways. With my internship ending in a couple of weeks, I’ve been meditating on how much ministry I’ve received from the ritual work done at our full moon celebration, and what a gift it is to be able to participate as often as I lead.

I’ve written before about the value of Pagan rituals and energy work for our Unitarian Universalist communities. It’s also widely acknowledged that healthy communities set aside time for reflection and processing on a regular basis. I’ve realized that the monthly full moon rituals are the perfect combination of these two things for me, and for many members of our congregation, and it has the added bonus of being an environment that is supportive of and inviting to our children and youth.

First, we gather, bringing food and drink to share. There is fellowship, and welcoming, and the sense of community. Our priestess (sometimes we are lucky enough to have two!) calls us to the ritual circle, and we are given a sacred space in which to look at the last month of our lives, and to look toward the future ahead. We hold our children with us, teaching them how to follow the moon in their lives as they grow into their wholeness of being. We remember that life works in a cycle. We are asked to offer up a single word of focus for the month ahead, of what we wish to send our energy towards as the moon completes another cycle of waning and waxing. We close the circle, and then, we dance!

I write about this today because, for many of us, a cycle is coming to an end. Many of us in school, or who have children of that age, are nearing the transition to summer break. Those of us in UU congregations are nearing the end of the programming year, and the annual meeting in which decisions are made about the future of our spiritual homes. I, personally, am ending one internship and beginning another in chaplain training. For some, the path of the next few years is already clear, for others, like me, it is not. I have found myself having to sit in the uncertainty of a long-term transition period, receiving my children’s anxiety about their futures along with my own. The ritual of the full moon has given me, and them, an anchor in this sea of uncertainty — knowing that every month, we will come under the light of the moon and be reminded of our own power, and the love of our community.

May it be ever so, and blessed be.

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Sukhmani 7:4-5

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One of the world religions I’ve studied briefly is Sikhism. I keep a copy of Nikky-Guninder Kaur Singh’s select translations of the Guru Granth, The Name of My Beloved, on my desk and occasionally flip through it to a random place to get my sacred reading for the day (as is done in Sikh practice). I was so moved by what I was given today that I feel the need to share:

Sukhmani 7:4-5

In the company of the faithful, we do not run in circles,
In the company of the faithful, we find peace,
In the company of the faithful, we fathom the Unfathomable,
In the company of the faithful, we bear the unbearable,
In the company of the faithful, we live in an exalted state,
In the company of the faithful, we reach the Mansion,
In the company of the faithful, we resolve to act righteously,
In the company of the faithful, we experience only the Transcendent,
In the company of the faithful, we find the treasure of the Name,
Says Nanak, I offer myself to the faithful.

In the company of the faithful, we liberate our people,
In the company of the faithful, we save our companions, friends, and families,
In the company of the faithful, we obtain that treasure
Which profits everyone.
In the company of the faithful, the god of death is our servant,
In the company of the faithful, we are honoured by the gods,
In the company of the faithful, evil is dispelled,
In the company of the faithful, we sing immortal praise,
In the company of the faithful, we reach our destination,
Says Nanak, in the company of the faithful, our life is rewarding.

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Pay No Attention to That Man Behind the Curtain

This is the text of a sermon given at First UU Nashville on May 8th, 2016.

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Listen to the sermon:

Pay No Attention to That Man Behind the Curtain

The Wizard of Oz started out as a harmless showman in our world, one who entertained people with tricks and illusions. Then he crashed, literally and figuratively, into a whole new persona. To the people of Oz, he appeared out of the sky, in a vehicle none of them had ever seen before, and so they ascribed to him power equivalent to the only other sources of great power they knew — the Witches of the four directions.

His story is still important for us today because he shows us the nuances of the human condition, and how a good person can still make bad decisions out of fear. On one hand, the Wizard embraces the leadership thrust upon him, and uses his showman skills to genuinely care for those in his new community — building them a safe, sustainable city in which they thrive.

On the other hand, when he believes that these witches who have “real” magic will eventually discover his tricks and destroy him, he also uses that power out of fear. He sends Dorothy, a young girl, and other beings of Oz — the scarecrow, the tin man, the lion, into imminent mortal danger in order to save himself. He deems their lives to matter less than his, in the guise of protecting his legacy, when deep down he knows the citizens of the Emerald City would do just fine without him now.

The Wizard of Oz captured the attention, and the fear, of the citizens of Oz when he crashed his balloon — something they’d never seen before, a catastrophic event in their midst. They witnessed this man not only survive, but walk away unscathed. They projected power and authority on to him, and made him their leader. In the same way, the conflict and fear from the War of 1812 led Andrew Jackson to become a national hero, and he also had power and authority projected on to him. The first time he ran for president, he won the popular AND electoral vote, but with more than two candidates running, there was no clear majority. The other candidates colluded together to give John Quincy Adams the majority.

This gave Jackson more than enough ammunition to claim that the election had been tainted through government corruption and conspiracy. His political persona shifted from national hero to a man of the people, fighting a war against the establishment that had stolen the presidency. Four years later, campaigning on this narrative, on this “spin”, he won by a landslide.

When I was in school, here in Tennessee, we were taught that Jackson was a populist President — about how his election was a victory for democracy, how commoners were invited to the White House for his inauguration, how he took on the elite who were stealing power from the people. We were taught that he and followers founded the Democratic party, that he fought against the earliest attempts by states like South Carolina to secede from the Union. It wasn’t until I reached AP US History in high school, and I had a teacher who brought in The People’s History of the United States as a counter-narrative to the state sanctioned textbook, that I learned about Jackson’s pro-slavery platform, or how he was instrumental in the passage of the Indian Removal Act and the Trail of Tears.

And the latter was not some kind of regretful political compromise, like we see our heroes do in the gritty reboots of our modern stories. Jackson went before Congress and used his showmanship, his charisma, to spin a tale to white colonial America of an oppressed population who should be grateful for their oppression. He said, “Rightly considered, the policy of the General Government toward the red man is not only liberal, but generous. He is unwilling to submit to the laws of the States and mingle with their population. To save him from this alternative, or perhaps utter annihilation, the General Government kindly offers him a new home, and proposes to pay the whole expense of his removal and settlement.” This from a man whom whole generations were taught was an unequivocal hero. He may have been heroic, in certain times and places. But he was handed power and he used it, along with his powers of persuasion, to ruin lives instead of protect them.

A different kind of Wizard from our history is P.T. Barnum, who was a lifelong Universalist. Contrary to popular belief, he did NOT say “There’s a sucker born every minute” — that was one of his competitors. Rather, Barnum’s principles are better summed up in his treatise on Universalism: “We believe that holiness and true happiness are inseparably connected, and that believers ought to be careful to maintain order and practice good works; for these things are good and profitable unto men.”

He was unapologetic about his desire to make money, but always tried to align his ventures with providing services to his local community and to the country at large, because he believed it was the right way, the only way, to do business. And yes, in his mind, in his religious faith, all the museums and shows he created were community services equal to his contributions to education and to Universalism. His museums and sideshows were created to offer humanity the experience of wonder, to inspire dreams of what might be possible. He wrote, “I base my hope on the Word of God speaking in the best heart and conscience of the race -the Word heard in the best poems and songs, the best prayers and hopes of humanity. The ages have been darkest when this hope was lowest.”

None of this is to claim that he was a perfect human being. Like all of us, he was a product of his time. This same man who was an adamant abolitionist also fought to keep people from having access to birth control. Ralph Waldo Emerson hated him, going so far as to claim that one of Barnum’s bankruptcies was proof of gods. But we as human beings are not all or nothing packages. Like the Wizard, like Jackson, like Barnum, we are neither black, nor white, not even grey, but rather a constantly shifting, living mix of all the colours of our human experience. Whether you call it the Word of God, or choose what our UU humanist origins describe as “the belief and trust in human effort,” the thought that we can make a difference even when we are not perfect all of the time binds us together in faith. We just have to find a way to make decisions out of love instead of fear.

Ultimately, the Wizard realizes what a horrible mistake he’s made in sending Dorothy to kill the Wicked Witch of the West. When she discovers his secret — that he has no “real” magic at all, they still insist that he honour his promises anyway. And so, the Wizard returns to the only skillset he’s ever had — showmanship — and uses his wordsmithing and clever props to draw out the qualities that the scarecrow, the tin man, and the lion had actually had all along. Up to now, they have lived in fear — fear of not being smart enough, not being brave enough, not being emotional enough to survive. The Wizard takes away that fear by enabling them to see a different truth about themselves, one that leads to authentic wholeness, even as that truth is born out of deception.

I was so moved by Andy’s words, because of their honesty. He’s afraid. I’m afraid. I know some of you are afraid, too. I’m also angry, angry at how I see people’s fear being used to create more fear, to manipulate, to scapegoat, in all aspects of our culture right now. The news cycle, our modern narrative, moves so fast that we can barely fact-check something that comes across our Facebook feeds before we’re hit with another inflammatory meme.

People with agendas of control are hijacking larger movements that offer people hope: hope of jobs, health care, access to education. And before you assume that you know which “side” I’m talking about, let me be clear — I’m talking about all sides. The people you think are on the “other” side are just as afraid as you are. They’re afraid they’ll never work again. That they’ll lose, or never have, a home. That they’ll lose their children, or never be able to afford having them in the first place.

It is thousands of years of genetic memories that teach us to demonize, de-humanize those with whom we find ourselves in conflict, because when they are not-us, we can safely categorize them as a threat. That is how humans survived the millennia — with categories. This plant is safe, that plant is not. This tribe is an ally; that tribe is a threat. And yet humans are also hard-wired for compassion — we can see this in our babies and young children. It’s the most profound act of love, of our Universalist tradition, to witness something beyond that instinctual categorical thinking. When all of our human history works to convince us that putting people into boxes keeps us safe, it’s dangerously radical to live into the idea that love wins.

The modern populist revolt is happening on both sides of the political chasm, and we are called to reach out across this great divide and say, “You matter to me.” All the fact-checking and debunking in the world will not ease our suffering until we give witness to these people, our Samaritan neighbors, who are afraid. And yes, that includes the ones who are spewing racist hate speech, or deeply sexist rhetoric. This is the hardest task of our Universalist heritage — living into our covenant that every person has inherent worth and dignity — even those who are trying to take that worth and dignity away from others. And yet our world need this from us, desperately.

The life of Andrew Jackson is a warning of how easily the one claiming to be the saviour of the people can turn into an enemy of true freedom and justice. And seeing how the story of his life has been handed down in different ways, depending on one’s context, shows us how hard it is to ever find truth with a capital T. We must take the narratives we’re given, and instead of believing them at face value, test them against the rubric of our Unitarian Universalist call to build beloved, sustainable, welcoming communities in which people care for each other and thrive. This is how we find authenticity. This is how we embrace a multitude of truths that celebrate our diversity as a strength, not a weakness.

Even as I say that, I’m still afraid. But here, with you, I know I’m not alone. Even when I doubt myself, I believe in YOU. I hold tightly to that, knowing that even when we are afraid, when we are tempted to make terrible choices in the midst of our fear, together we will keeping calling each other back to covenant. This is how we ensure that love wins.

May it be so.

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Small Group: The Self

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First UU Church of Nashville Covenant Group Session Plan #144
Meghann Robern, Intern Minister

April Worship Theme: Letting Go

Opening Words: Lifting Our Voices #124, adapted from Derek Walcott

The time will come
When, with elation,
You will greet yourself arriving
At your own door, in your own mirror,
And each will smile at the other’s welcome,

And say, sit here. Eat.
You will live again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
To itself, to the stranger who has loved you

All your life, whom you ignored
For another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

The photographs, the desperate notes,
Peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Chalice Lighting and Covenant

Check-In and Sharing

Topic:

The path from childhood to adulthood is about creating identity, about creating a “self”. And yet, we must do such creation in the larger context of our existing families, cultures and traditions, which can often constrict us as much as they support and guide us.

How does your “self” now differ from the self you envisioned being as a child?

What lessons were you taught as you grew up that changed how you saw yourself? Which of these lessons helped you flourish? Which have possibly held you back?

What, if anything, would you like to consider letting go of in order to better your “self”? What would turning that into a learning, growing experience look like for you?

Closing Check-Out and Chalice Extinguishing

Closing Words: Lifting Our Voices #110, adapted from Angela Herrera

Don’t leave you broken heart at the door;
Bring it to the altar of life.
Don’t leave your anger behind;
It has high standards and the world needs vision.
Bring them with you,
And your joy and you passion.
Bring your loving,
And your courage and your conviction.
Bring your need for healing,
And your powers to heal.
There is work to do
And you have all that you need to do it right here in this room.

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Frozen Flower Communion: Call to Worship

This is the Call to Worship I wrote for our Frozen-themed, multigenerational Flower Communion at First UU Nashville on April 10th, 2016.

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Do you wanna build a snowman? It doesn't have to be a snowman...
Do you wanna build a snowman? It doesn’t have to be a snowman…

We gather this morning in worship, one congregation made from many lives, holding each other in joys and in sorrows.

We gather to celebrate our differences, to learn from each other, to live into the promise that we are better together.

We gather to create community that sustains itself by using the power of love and understanding, both in times of conflict and in times of peace.

We gather this morning into a story of a relationship between two sisters, broken apart by fear and misunderstanding, and how they came together again by hearing, seeing, being with each other; how they came to let go of the burdens unfairly placed on them by the mistakes of others.

We gather this morning, so that we may always remember — even when we hide ourselves away behind a door, there will always be someone who loves us knocking on the other side, calling us back to our best selves.

Welcome to this sacred time in this gathered community.

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Good Friday

This the text of a homily given at Riverbend Maximum Security Prison on March 25th, 2016.

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The supreme irony of the whole crucifixion scene is this: He who was everything had everything taken away from Him. He who was perfect was totally misjudged as “sin” itself (Romans 8:3-4). The crucified Jesus forever tells power and authority, and all of us, how utterly wrong we can be about who is in the right and who is sinful (John 16:8). All human solidarity and sympathy was taken away from Him and He finally had to walk the journey alone, in darkness, in not-knowing, as most humans finally have to do.

Jesus hung in total solidarity with the pain of the world and the far too many lives on this planet that have been “nasty, lonely, brutish, and short.” After the cross, we know that God is not watching human pain, nor apparently always stopping human pain, as much as God is found hanging with us alongside all human pain. Jesus forever tells us that God is found wherever the pain is, which leaves God on both sides of every war, in sympathy with both the pain of the perpetrator and the pain of the victim, with the excluded, the tortured, the abandoned, and the oppressed since the beginning of time. I wonder if we even like that. There are no games of moral superiority left. Yet this is exactly the kind of Lover and the universal Love that humanity needs.

What else could possibly give us a cosmic and final hope? This is exactly how Jesus redeemed the world “by the blood of the cross.” It was not some kind of heavenly transaction, or “paying a price” to God, as much as a cosmic communion with all that humanity has ever loved and ever suffered. If he was paying any price it was for the hard and resistant skin around our souls. — Richard Rohr

For many years, I didn’t understand Easter as a Christian holiday. Don’t get me wrong, I love Jesus. Christmas was easy for me to understand. But to a much younger version of me, Easter as a holiday that celebrated the death and resurrection of someone I believed to be a man with a message, well, I found it corruptive. I blamed Easter for so much of Christianity manifesting as a death cult of personality and of miracles that no longer happen in our world, as opposed to a religion that should be speaking truth to power and easing suffering wherever it might be found.

And then I went to a Christian seminary. I made dear friends, whom I respect, and who love Easter. So I listened.

They taught me about the rituals of their churches, leading up to Good Friday. How they empty their altars of artifacts and symbols until only the Spirit remains. How that emptiness in a place of worship and community leads them to lament — He’s leaving. He’s leaving. He’s leaving. They taught me that this day is not the holy day of a death cult, but is part of the larger story about how people, and communities, learn to cope with and to live with profound grief and loss.

In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus confronts the reality of what he knows will come to pass — his execution. He had a moment of choice in his past, when his dear friend John the Baptist was killed — a choice to continue their work of resistance to empire and fighting oppression, or to walk away, and be safe. It is at this moment that Jesus knows, if continues down this path, he will die, because what he asks of people with power and influence is not something they are willing to hear. What matters is how much change he can manifest in the world before they kill him to shut him up.

And so, in the Garden of Gethsemane, he despairs that he has no more time. He does not want the burden of death, nor does he want to abandon his work or the people who follow him. Even in this time and place, so near to the end, his disciples cannot stay awake for him when asks. “Father,” he pleads, “if it be possible, let this cup pass from me.” He is willing to die, has been willing to die on this path, but it is in this moment that he fears for a future without him to lead the way. His disciples continue to fail, unable to stay awake, unable to wait with him and pray, And they are us.

The first time I realized that, I was heartbroken. No one wants to imagine themselves as the sidekick, always paling in comparison to the hero of the story. And yet, Jesus is the hero because, ultimately, he believes that despite our brokenness, despite our failures… we are just as good, and as worthy, as he is. “If this cannot pass unless I drink it, “ he says, “your will be done.” We cannot stay awake, and yet the care and justice of the world is passed into our hands by someone who believes we can, who believes we will stay awake.

My Christian colleagues taught me that the lessons of Easter are about forgiving the most unforgivable of sins — not because Jesus sacrificed his life as some kind of payment for all time, but because each of us has failed time and time again. And despite our brokenness, Jesus took up that cross because he knows we can be better. He asks us to be better, relentlessly, for our entire lives.

Because I believe what he learned, as he prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, is that he wasn’t enough by himself. His disciples were followers, not teammates. He died because one person, alone, is not enough to tear down the oppressions of empire and corruption. His death was not about sacrificing himself for some cruel sense of atonement, a bargain of blood with a hateful God. He died because he could go no further, and he died with hope that his disciples, now apostles, would resurrect him not in body, but in word and deed. Jesus’s death teaches us that the Kingdom of God, in which all are free from suffering, is found in building sustainable communities that work for a better world.

No matter how many times we fail, we must always find the strength, somehow, to pick up the pieces and try again — not for our sakes, but for the sakes of others. Jesus died with his mission unfulfilled. His resurrection happens not just on Easter, but on every day that we are willing to reach out our hands, without expectation, without judgement — with just loving intention and strength of will — to learn, to create, and to listen.

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